The Beat Marches On

Questions that come up for me as a parent: 

 1. Will I ever sleep again?


2. Can chronic sleep deprivation kill you?

3. Will the house EVER be clean?


4. The oldest is almost 3 and has ZERO interest in potty training. Is that normal?

5. When was the last time Reese pooped?


6. How bad is it really to use tv as a babysitter? (Daniel Tiger does a damn good job)

7. Can chronic sleep deprivation kill you?


8. If I became a stay-at-home mom, could I still take them to daycare?

9. Can a heart explode from cuteness?


10. Did my toddler just put me in time-out? WHAT DID I EVEN DO??


11. What will they be like when they’re teenagers?

12. Did I feed the dogs this week?


13. Am I really mean or just really tired?

14. How did my mom do this?


15. What memories will stay with me forever?



17. How did I get so lucky?





Love is in the air

As it happens in life, as soon as you have a baby, people want to know if you’re going to have more.


Do you keep buying lottery tickets when you’ve already won?



I won the baby lottery and the ticket shop is now closed.


Especially now that we are having so much fun with our winnings!

Friends, newborns are cute, but they are a lot of work.

Eight months in and we are finally (I always say that) hitting our stride.

My Mom promised me that life with two would get easier and (as is always the case) she was right.

Now that Reese can sit up on her own and is starting to move (crawl? shimmy?) she is



She thinks big sister is hilarious and laughs hysterically at the most mundane of moments.


They are starting to play together (and squabble over the same toys) and I can finally sit back and just soak up the joy.


Reese always has big, big smiles (until 4:00 and then she is ANGRY) and claps for herself and her accomplishments all throughout the day.

Speaking of accomplishments, Reese is:

Starting to crawl/scoot and she is FAST.


Eating ALL THE FOOD. They requested backup at daycare.

SO CURIOUS. She explores EVERYTHING in her path.


Talking (grunting) to let us know what she wants.

Playing independently. Something sister didn’t do much of until about a couple of months ago.


Sitting up in the crib when she wakes up. I find this to be the cutest thing ever. Even at 11:00, 1:00, and 3:00 AM.

Kind of.


February was filled with love and Valentines all around.



Speaking of Valentine’s Sadie was so excited that we got her………..paper.


So. Excited.

And Reese, naturally, was in love with her recycled bag.


Eight month old babies are the best.

They are all plump and squishy, but inquisitive and independent.

And 2.5 year olds make the best big sisters.


I just love it.




The Eyes Have It

Just perused my phone and I have about 3 pictures from the last month.


Words will have to suffice.

I had lots of ideas of what to write about as we approached the 7 month mark, but they all escape me because

It’s not the sleepiness that comes from a restless night, it’s the kind of exhaustion that comes from 2.5 years of 24/7 demands.

I’m singing the song of motherhood, right?

I bet you all know the tune.

Even though I don’t have many pictures to show for it, its been an eventful month.

There were snow days and snow plays,

football with friends,

LOTS of swimming at the YMCA,

and a very important eye exam for Reese.

Reese has had a clogged tear duct since birth and its yet to clear on its own,

so the pediatrician referred us to the nearest children’s hospital to meet with a pediatric ophthalmologist.

My mom brain thought we were scheduling a surgery but it ended up being a consult (duh, what surgeon just goes poking around a baby’s eye without assessing the situation first?? Like I said, mom brain).

Part of me was glad that we would get to see the hospital in a non-emergency situation so  that we could have an idea of where it was and what it was like.

Where it was: A short drive north.

What it was: The most amazing place on Earth.

Talk about attention to detail and making an exceptional experience for kids and families!

There were places to play at every turn, a huge digital aquarium, multiple cafes for coffee, baked goods, and healthy snacks, a huge playground, and opportunities for educational play in every waiting room (one game had this mom stumped!), and lots of color and visual stimulation.


We could have happily spent an afternoon there playing and exploring.

I’m so grateful that we have a top notch facility so close by.

After a quick consult with the doctor, she informed us that the blockage is “severe” but not something they perform surgery on until after a year.

There’s a chance it could clear on its own by then, so we don’t have to go back for another four months.

She gave us some ointment to use in the meantime and told us that the rest of Reese’s eye health is great!

Reese has also been doing lots of growing.

She can now sit up unassisted and never lets a toy or object escape her grasp.

Like Sadie, she is SO curious, but where Sadie was cautious, Reese dives after the things she wants.


She also spends an extraordinary amount of time examining the dogs and her own hands.

When she goes to sleep she soothes herself by flopping like a fish and it is adorable.

It’s less adorable at 2:00 AM when she does it for an hour and half, but what can you do?


She wakes up with big smiles and I forget to be mad.

Speaking of fish, Sadie has taken to the pool like one!

After spending a summer pleading with her to put on her lifejacket so she could go in the pool, it only took one time of seeing another little girl hop in the water with puddle jumper for Sadie to decide she was ready for one too.

The first day she wanted us to hold on to her the whole time while she kicked and swam, but now she’s swimming half the length of the pool (with a puddle jumper) on her own.

She also taught herself to slide into the water from the side of the pool.

She really loves to go to the Y to swim and I’m almost dreading the day I have to put her in childcare so I can actually get some exercise on my own.

But I desperately need some “me” time.

I’ll probably spend it in the sauna by myself enjoying the sound of silence.



‘Twas the Reindeer before Christmas….

Rudolph came!

According to the big kid, Santa is scary and is not allowed in the house.


So we baked gingerbread cookies, decorated them by eating all the icing, and carefully selected two for Rudolph, who is allowed to come in the house and deliver presents.

On Christmas morning, Sadie wandered over to the stairs, looked at all the presents piled under the tree below and proclaimed in a soft whisper “Santa isn’t scary anymore.”

Reese was still snoozing away because she stayed up all night listening for the for reindeer hooves to make such a clatter.

And every 90 minutes she would wake her parents who would see what was the matter.


Nothing was the matter.

Reese just has a very severe case of FOMO.

The doctor made the official diagnosis at her 6 month check up.



The stats:

Weight: 16 lbs. 13 oz.

Length: 25 inches

Head circumference: Enough room for a big, curious brain that can operate on little to no sleep.

We also have an appointment to go to the Children’s hospital to get her poor tear duct unclogged so she can stop the mass production of green goobers from her eye.

The rest of December was filled with the typical hustle and bustle of the most wonderful time of the year + a stomach bug that took us all out for three days.

We also left some sickies for Granny as a nice parting gift after she stayed with us for a whole month.

See you later! Stay close to the toilet for the next 12 hours! 

And then Reese came down with a fever during her Christmas party at daycare.

Kids just don’t know how to hang.

But we all woke up healthy (although slightly extremely groggy) on Christmas morning and we leapt into the magic that is Christmas with a 2 1/2 year old.


We woke up like this, I swear! 

Unwrapping presents was a five hour affair with many stops to play and an intermission to cook up some chocolate chip brownie waffles with a side of gingerbread cookie and eggnog spiked coffee (for Mom and Dad, of course).

The pictures are sparse because it was a “live in the moment” kind of morning.

We’re grateful Sadie has no idea what a fingerling is (does anyone know what a fingerling is???) and that she spent most of the day working in her new play kitchen and ringing up lots of produce at her fancy new cash register.

Then there was a play-doh creation hour while Mom sipped on a Sam Adams Winter Lager and cooked up some Maple Mustard Glazed Green Beans and Potatoes and perused her new DIY Vegan Cookbook.

When the kids finally went down for a long winter’s nap, Mom and Dad played toy Tetris and found a new home for all of the new presents.

Mom may have been in her glory while organizing the pots, pans, and play food of the new kitchen.

Until she realized she now has two kitchens to clean up 737 times a day.


Now we have a week of lazy days, kid crafts, and miscellaneous adventures as we round out 2017.


We hope Rudolph brings more sleep in 2018.




Is it me or do the holidays come whooshing in as a whirlwind of chaos?

I already feel the pressure of perfect presents, new and exciting holiday recipes, and fitting in ALL THE THINGS between Thanksgiving and New Years.

But me and P-Daddy are ON IT this year.

We are done with our Christmas shopping.

Aside from the 3056 incidentals that will inevitably come up. 

We took our holiday family photos this morning.

Sadie was kind enough to reserve the fall-out tantrum for the second we opened up the door to leave. 

Thanksgiving food prep is underway.

Hope I don’t eat all those roasted sweet potatoes before Thursday! 

Both kids are napping and I’m rummaging through the cabinets for the rum.



I had one of those surreal moments the other day where I slowed down enough to really look at Reese and I suddenly realized that she is 5 months old.

She’s also a TANK.

Thanksgiving rolls for daaaaaaaays on that little nugget’s legs.

Its funny how in five short months, Reese has become so ingrained in the fabric of our family, that I can not even imagine life without her.

She always has a big, big grin for me in the morning (even when she was up all night screaming in my ear!).

And I’m also fairly certain she’s got some teeth starting to poke through.

I know this because she spends most nights wailing to me about it and then gnawing my finger off.

Even though the long, long nights have me in a daze for days, I think we’ll keep her.

5 months!



Sharing is Caring

If you don’t live under an internet rock, you’ve probably heard a lot of these buzzy words lately:






Blah, blah, blah.

But I get it.

They are buzzy for a reason.

Before having kids, I was getting good better at the self-care game.


I would go for long walks through the woods, bike rides around the city, read for an hour before bed each night, prep and cook my food for the week on Sunday, and do yoga at least three times a week.

I tried to make those things fit into my life after Sadie was born, but it was either exhausting to do them or I felt bad about myself for not getting them done.

When Reese joined the crew, it was obvious that I was going to have to rethink what self-care looks like.


Gone are  the days that I can listen to a podcast for two hours while I peddle my bike through Amish country.

But I could still manage to sneak in podcasts in the shower (if I get up before everyone else to do it, and yes, it is COMPLETELY worth the 20 extra minutes of missed sleep to enjoy a hot shower by myself).

I stumbled upon the Thought for Food Podcast which had a show with an author who wrote  a book called Raising Healthy Parents.


The episode was life changing.

It was the reframe I needed to discover how to be more flexible in this season (another buzz word!) of my life.

So what does self-care look like for me now?


Mostly a hot, interrupted mess but I’m so mindfully intentional on my self-care journey that I know it’s about progress, not perfection.

See what I did there? 

Self-care with a 2 year old and a four month old: 


Squats at my desk after I’m done pumping at work.

In another life, a workout didn’t “count” if it wasn’t at least 45 minutes long.

10 minutes of yoga, if both kids are asleep by 7:30

In another life, I would laugh at the suggestion of just 10 minutes of yoga. But those 10 minutes literally restore my soul. 

In bed at 7:45 (if the kids are asleep)

We went over this last week. Adequate Sleep is my number 1 self care item.

15 minutes of reading in the evening


A  sip of hot pumpkin spice coffee before I talk to people

Excuse me while I have a mindful moment. 

Waking up early to take a shower by myself (sometimes that means 4:30 AM on the weekends). 


Taking short cuts from the grocery store and using more prepackaged foods

The perfectionist in me cringes. The new me says “EFF OFF and just get the kids fed.” 

Eating the same meals in heavy rotation

The secret to healthy eating when you have no time? Find your staple healthy foods/meals and eat them on repeat. And then repeat. 

Eating REAL food and eating enough of it to keep up with the energizer bunnies children.


It’s non-negotiable. I HAVE to eat enough REAL food (not sugary cereal and granola bars) to have enough energy to do my job as a Mom. I’m quite happy with my progress on this one.

Becoming “Un-busy”

I’ve always liked an Un-busy life, but I felt bad about it. I felt like I should be doing more. Now I’m embracing the slow movement and letting go of unnecessary guilt.

Listening to podcasts that make me think about what I want my life to look like. How can I be more positive and productive? 

When Facebook became a political nightmare around the elections, I realized that it is up to me to surround myself with things that make me happy or make me a better person. Listening to podcasts exposes me to ideas and philosophies that get my brain thinking in new ways. As a lover of learning, it quenches that academic thirst. 

I HIGHLY recommend the book Raising Healthy Parents because it has nuggets of wisdom that will help anyone looking to find a way to make changes within themselves that are both realistic and attainable.

But I bet you’re just here for pictures of the babies.


Reese is four months and a bundle of fun!

I say a bundle because we still put her in her straight jacket swaddler on a pretty regular basis.

She’s learning to:

Lean on her side (I can not in good conscience call it rolling over)

Grab clumps of big sister’s hair

Sleep all day and party all night

Pick pumpkins

Gain weight like an MMA fighter (12 pounds!)

And Sadie is THE BEST big sister!


She loves to hold up objects and tell Reese what they are

Bring Reese her favorite toys

And tell everyone “It’s not that serious” when we have our mad faces on.

In the end, the buzzy cliche is true.

My kids make me a better person.

But they better not interrupt my shower.

Just kidding.

No I’m not.


Rhythm and Blues

This post is only a month late. I’d say we’re doing pretty good! 

We’ve been dancing the infant dance for three months now, and I think we finally have a rhythm.


Babies laugh in the face of schedules (to my horror) but sometimes they don’t mind slipping into an improvised slow dance.


It all usually hits the pot around 5:00 PM.

It does not escape me that “Happy Hour” and the “Witching Hour” occur at the same time.

Bartender, please pour a glass for me.

But we are light years ahead of where we were just a short month ago.

I didn’t think I was going to make it.

The sleep deprivation was chipping away at my soul.

Thankfully, some better and more predictable sleep habits (please, please don’t let me regret saying that) have somewhat restored me.

That and going to bed at 7:30 PM.

My 20 year old self would laugh at the ridiculousness of such an early bedtime, but the truth is that I know that I need adequate sleep to function as a somewhat reasonable human being.

Nursing 2-3 times a night or waking up with a cranky baby mean that bedtime comes extra early and not one ounce of me feels bad about that.

Its my goal to hit the hay as soon as the toddler sings her last show tune before bed.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

That’s pretty much the gist of life, eh?

Sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t?

Look at me getting all philosophical because my brain is working today.

I’m getting a little emotional though too.

In a few short weeks, my maternity leave will come to an end and I will have to go back to work.


I like my job so part of me is excited to see my colleagues and dive back into the world of counseling but the other part of me is going to miss being able to stay home, take care of the kids, and do inane things like look up natural household cleaner recipes (now I can clean with the vodka that I bought for happy hour! Winning!).

When Sadie went to daycare for the first time, I was totally able to compartmentalize it and think of all the positive aspects of having full time care during the day.

I’m having a harder time doing that this time around.

I feel like I am somehow abandoning my duties as a mother .

I will probably never, ever have multiple months at home taking care of my kids again.

UNLESS a school district would like to hire a highly motivated mental health counselor?!?! Pretty please?!?!?!?

Even though I sometimes feel sad (and the toddler feels all the big feels ALL THE TIME), I can’t help but feel grateful for so many things.

1. Free Grocery Pick Up: This service literally saves my life every single week. So grateful.

2. When Sadie sees me and P-Daddy hugging and just has to jump in. The smile on her face is priceless.

3. When Sadie has a tantrum and in the middle of the scream fest, we ask her if she needs a hug and she runs to give us one.  Project “Time-IN” has been pretty successful!

4. We are finally able to understand and sometimes predict what Reese needs. “Oh, it’s 5:00 PM and you need to be swaddled and Mom needs a martini? Let’s do this.”

5. I had a full conversation with P-Daddy, no interruptions. I think I also fell asleep in the middle (two birds, if you ask me).

6. Reese is SO smiley! I can almost always count on big, big smiles in the morning. After 5:00, we just aim for no shrieking.



Likes white noise and being swaddled for sleep (finally)

Takes longish morning naps (finally)

Loves when big sister plays with her

Is growing increasingly impatient with the carseat

Grasps for toys (and her toes!)

Is fascinated with her left hand


Is growing so fast (I swear she’s about to catch up with big sister!)