The Inside That Counts

I’ve had 19 whole days to get used to the idea of all of this.

And yet, there are many days that are still washed in a haze of disbelief.

For some reason, it just doesn’t seem real.

Even though there were signs from the beginning.

Like when I could suddenly smell John’s cologne from afar.

As in Maryland.

I swear I could smell that cologne all the way in Maryland even when I was an entire state away.

Ditto for the time I could smell the chewing tobacco infiltrating the crevices of his teeth even though he hadn’t chewed for three days.

It basically took a full dental cleaning before he was granted clearance into my personal space.

I’m also fairly sure I smelled someone cooking a pizza two streets over.

And it smelled delicious.

Another weird sign?

I suddenly wanted dinner for breakfast.

If it was salty and savory, I wanted it in my belly before 10:00 AM.

But I’ve always had quirky habits, so this didn’t grant me much assurance.

What has been reassuring?

Weekly ultrasounds.

That’s right.


The particular doctor I’m working with is a reproductive endocrinologist who got involved pre-pregnancy for some other lady-part related concerns.

A happy side effect of this is that they watch all of their patients very, very carefully.

Perfect for someone like me who is a tad obsessive and needs constant physical and visual proof of this whole experience.

Being able to see that tiny, little black dot on the screen is often very reassuring.

And the screenshot is worth 1000 reassurances.


This is the peanut on October 24th, 2014.

Actually, that’s the gestational sac at 4 weeks and 5 days, if you want to get specific.

And big things can happen in just a week!


This is a week later (5 weeks 5 days) on October 31st, 2014.

Even though the pictures were absolutely proof positive that things were happening in there, things became for real for real when we told the family.

And the winner for the best reaction to the news goes to…..


Arnie Johnson, step-father of the mama-to-be for his enthusiastic exclamation of:


I know.

I can totally relate to that initial state of disbelief, dear Step-Dad.


Thanks, family, for keeping it real!


3 thoughts on “The Inside That Counts

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