I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last 23 weeks.
Mostly that I’m oppositional and a little bit defiant.
P-Daddy: We should start a baby registry.
P-Daddy: People want to buy us stuff.
Me: Tell them to send a gift card.
P-Daddy: But what about a shower?
Me: I took one on Wednesday.
P-Daddy: But what about our relatives across the country?
Me: That’s presumptuous to even assume they want to buy us something.
P-Daddy’s co-worker that I’ve never met that sent me a message via Facebook: Shana, you don’t know me but you need to start a registry. You’ll save so much money and it will help people decide what to get you. All the guys at the fire station want to get you something!
Me: Has toddler-like tantrum and turns on the cooking channel.
All the pressure!
P-Daddy: I concede
So far we’ve learned that I’m:
3) Completely and ridiculously irrational
Upon further introspection, I just still feel completely overwhelmed with having to choose all the things I think we will need in order to have another human being in our care.
I’m also the world’s worst gift receiver.
I love buying gifts for other people and will go out of my way to extend a kind gesture or help someone out, but when it comes to receiving the same kindnesses, I feel completely unworthy.
Unless you’re Santa, the idea of making a list of things that I want people to buy for me seems greedy, if not ludicrous.
And yet, I will pour over someone else’s registry making sure to choose just the right gift, adding my own personal touch, and it would never even cross my mind that the person was being “greedy.”
I mean, it’s not greed, it’s tradition.
It’s a way for people to rally together and make sure the new bundle has all the odds and ends to survive the brave new world.
So then we’re back to the real underlying fear:
How am I supposed to know what I need to care for an infant?
So after I was done tantrum-ing, I put my big (extra-big, these days) girl panties on, and suggested a little trip to the store I fear the most:
P-Daddy: Are we getting a registry gun?
Cheese and Rice, here we go again.
P-Daddy: But how will we register for stuff?
Me: I just need to figure out what this shit is first!
In case you’re curious, here are a few of the items that may someday by the grace of God make it to an actual registry:
Columbia Diaper Bag
Truthfully, I was completely ok with using my Swiss Gear backpack, but I like that this is more wide and less deep making it easier to retrieve things. It’s also still sporty looking, has the comfortable cross body strap, and is neutral enough for P-Daddy.
But if you’re looking to get something exclusively for the Dad-to-be, I think this would be an excellent choice:
Apparently, it’s tough enough to go to war!
I completely glossed over the breast pumps and bottles because looking at an entire wall of bottles is enough to send anyone screaming back to the parking lot.
It’s ok, though, we hit that section up at the end, and I think I sort of have it figured out. Maybe. Well, I at least looked at one bottle. One.
Moving on to strollers.
This is where we spent the majority of the afternoon.
We pushed, pulled, collapsed, folded, clicked and carried nearly every model on the floor and narrowed it down to two.
I was initially drawn to the sporty looking jogger travel system but they turned out to be bulky, heavy, and more difficult to navigate.
We also weeded out the more cost-effective models that were cheaply made, difficult to collapse, and largely inconvenient.
So we arrived at our top choices:
A) The Graco Aire 3 Click Connect
B) The Britax b-agile
The Britax was a little bit like the Lexus of strollers, in my opinion. It provided a smooth ride, handled easily, and turned on a dime. The car seat popped out with the press of a button and the whole thing folded with a flick of the wrist.
The Graco was only slightly less luxurious, but came with a better price and a food tray, which was apparently very important to P-Daddy. Plus it had a special compartment to keep your i-phone safely secured.
If cost is the deciding factor, we could get the Graco with an additional car seat for about $100 less than the Britax b-agile with a second car seat.
Now that we had conquered the big stuff, we moved onto the incidentals.
We perused some swings, sleepers, and rockers but didn’t come to any definitive conclusions.
I like Rock and Plays because they are small, portable, and can double as a bassinet in the early days.
But swings and bouncers seem almost equally necessary.
I was not ready to make this kind of decision.
Let us move on.
We glanced though blankets, bedding, furniture and clothing not really looking at anything in particular.
But it was a smack in the face just how much stuff we still needed.
So much stuff.
It was as if I needed to make some sort of master list of all the things we still want and need and then I would need to distribute said list to my loved ones and let them handle all of the decision making.
Letting the people you love do this for you takes some of the enormous pressure (for me) out of it.
It was a stark realization that there is no such thing as independence with parenting.
I need the village.
I also need my brain to let me be ok with needing the village and stop acting like a two year old who wants to “do it myself.”
Sometimes, I don’t know who’s really doing the growing up.
Me or the kid.
Next weekend we’re off to a second-hand resale.
I’m hoping to stock up on ultra cheap necessities and build the rest of the registry from there.