Every winter, I promise myself I’m not going to get depressed.
And every spring I realize I spent the winter half asleep and meandering through the motions of each day.
When the first weeks of April arrive, I feel like I am being awakened in the same way that the grass suddenly seems to sprout and flowers begin to bloom almost overnight.
Warmed by the sun and the creeping thermometer, my spirits are suddenly lifted, and I feel re-energized.
I imagine this happens to almost all of us on some level.
The bitter cold and bitter feelings of winter are swept away by the light breezes of spring that promise new energy and new life.
While I have spent the past seven months literally creating a new life, I had this gnawing fear that the person I used to be had sort of fallen away like leaves on trees in the fall.
I loved the planning and preparation that came following the positive pregnancy test, but I worried that I would become consumed by baby, and that my new identity would consist of being “Mom” and not the “Shana” that I’ve spent the last 31 years cultivating.
Today reminded me that I will be neither of these people exclusively and that “Shana” and “Mom” can live harmoniously in one being, as long as I keep growing in both roles.
Sound kind of hippie dippy?
The first sunny day of the season will do that to you.
Saturday was awesome.
I spent the day doing some of my favorite things.
First, I went for a bike ride.
I know, I know.
The pregnant ladies aren’t supposed to ride bikes for fear of falling.
But I did a few safety checks before I hit the road.
1) I tested my balance since the growing belly can alter your center of gravity. Balance was in check.
2) I used my ROAD ID app so that my husband could geographically track my ride in real time and would be alerted if I stopped pedaling.
3) I chose a loop close enough to home that I could walk back if necessary.
4) I wore my helmet. But I always wear a helmet because it’s stupid not to.
5) I rode really slowly, slowed down even more for cars, and made extra sure I was aware of all of my surroundings at all times.
In the end, I finished 10.7 miles with no worries.
Other than my leg hitting the bump at the top of my pedal stroke.
Then I came home, lingered over some coffee and conversation with my Grandma, and took a shower.
My plan for the rest of the day was to read and lounge around in the sunshine.
But first I needed some reading material.
Fueled by the sunshine, I walked the short trek to the library and picked up some books.
When I got home, I settled into our new deck lounge chair, and soaked up some rays.
Our goal for this summer is to turn our backyard into an Oasis, since we don’t really plan on leaving the house for the months of July-September.
The outdoor furniture was unpacked last weekend and P-Daddy began preparations to put in a backyard pool.
After a long talk, P-Daddy and I decided we would probably have to take a break from boating for the year, and I finally agreed to let him put the boat up for sale.
Why sell it, you ask?
Well, I gave P-Daddy a really hard time about this because I was not ready to sell the boat.
I feared that not only would we be giving up a hobby that we love, but that we would be distracted by the baby (and then toddler, and then kid, and then teen) and would never own one again.
But we put a new plan into the universe and it only makes sense to sell the boat now.
The new plan involves enjoying a summer at home with an un-permanant pool, selling the speed boat, and saving enough money to buy a bigger boat with a cabin that will allow our growing family to enjoy even more time on the water in the years to come.
I feel safer having a boat with a cabin providing a nice, cool spot to put youngin’ and just feel better all around not having an open bow boat on a river with 50 ft. yachts that seem to create 100 ft. waves.
Both P-Daddy and I are even more excited about the plan than we thought we would be.
And I need to give a huge shout out to P-Daddy for doing some major lawn related overhauls to get our island oasis going.
I have pictures in my mind of steamy summer nights spent poolside sipping craft beer and tropical beverages.
You know, in between the 23 hours of feeding and changing a helpless human being.
Ah, I can feel it all coming together already.