Tough Mother

I’m starting to think that these women that say they “enjoy” being pregnant are really just masochists.

Or maybe I just think that because this third trimester has  been trying my patience.

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The bump is officially large and in charge.

It’s in charge because it completely dictates my capabilities and range of motion (or really the lack thereof).

Case in point: It took me so long to tie my shoes one day that P-Daddy asked if I was alright.

Oh, sure! Just trying to figure out how to find my feet! 

In the past week, my movements have slowed considerably and have become much more restricted.

It doesn’t seem all that bad in writing, but when every movement requires concentrated planning and effort, it tends to become a bit tedious.

And because the bump has become so large, I swear it has pushed my stomach into my throat.

I can tell because everything I eat stays there for 4-6 hours.

Yep, the 6 ounces of water I just drank is hanging out in my esophagus just waiting for the one cup of fruit I ate yesterday to clear the arena.

Which is especially fun if you have acid reflux.

So now I’m choking on an acid bath of salad and fruit from lunch well into the wee hours of the next morning.

You know, when I’m supposed to be sleeping.

Except I don’t sleep anymore.

I truly have never experienced insomnia like this.

Oh, I have had my share of difficulty falling asleep and frequent night waking, but this…….this is the anti-sleep olympics.

Some nights I lie awake tossing and turning from about 9:00Pm until 2 or 3:00Am.

WIDE AWAKE.

Completely aware of every thought, movement, and sound.

Is there anything more frustrating than spending hours trying to fall asleep?

Yes, yes there is.

Add some more wicked acid reflux, rib pain, and uncontrollable restless legs to top off that sleepless sundae.

I thrive on seven hours of deep sleep each night.

I probably slept a collective of 7 hours all last week.

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Yes, somehow, SOMEHOW, my brain still works during the day.

It’s tired and cranky, but it works.

And then I lose my shit by Friday.

Which is probably why I slept a glorious 14 hours this past Friday night.

And by glorious, I mean I woke up at least once every hour but was right back to sleep within a few minutes.

I complain so much that I think I’ve convinced P-Daddy that pregnancy is the equivalent of water boarding.

It’s really not.

It has it’s perks.

Ain’t nothing better than having a dance party right inside your abdomen.

I swear it’s like a disco tech in there sometimes.

With some hip-hop pop and locks to round things out.

Sometimes the whole darn thing just rolls in waves of movement with a nice rib shot for the finale.

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Movement always makes me happy.

It reminds me that the fish is still swimming along in there.

Speaking of swimming, I need to give a huge shout out to P-Daddy for completing the backyard Oasis this week.

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In between massive amounts of overtime (he already works 24 hour shifts), he has spent every day at home working in the backyard to get ready for our summer of fun.

At first, I thought the inexpensive, Wal-Mart special pool was going to be an eyesore in our small yard, but P-Daddy managed to make it incredibly inviting.

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The only contribution I made was the purchase of Fish’s very first swim diaper.

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So even when I’m complaining about every physical ailment under the sun, I realize how lucky I am to be physically and mentally able to enjoy such niceties in life.

Even though 70 degrees feels like 107 because I am my own personal heater.

And when I’m especially complain-y, I remember just how much our mothers sacrifice for us.

Maybe those moms that enjoy pregnancy aren’t masochists after all.

Maybe they’ve forgiven and forgotten all of the pain they went through and only look back with fond memories of baby belly kicks and the exciting anticipation of becoming a mother.

Today is Mother’s Day.

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I’m still mostly anxious (ok, entirely anxious) about becoming one, but that’s when I stop and think about all the awesome Moms in my life.

The tough-as-nails but love-you-to-death women that make mothering look easy.

The ones that tell me not to worry about a thing, because I’ll be great.

But the truth is, I’ll only be great because of you.

I’ll only be great because of what you taught me, what you showed me, and what you instilled in me.

I’ll only be great because you loved me so much that I have the capacity to love the way I do.

I’ll only be great because I know you are with me heart, mind and soul.

I’ll only be great because you made me that way. 

Thanks especially to these Moms for their contributions:

My Grandmothers

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My Sister

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My Sister (she’s worth mentioning twice)

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My Aunts

My Cousins

My Step-Mother

My Mothers-in-law

and the greatest mother of them all:

My Mom

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Happy Mother’s Day! 

I totally get why you all need your own holiday now!

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Cheers!

33 weeks!

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