This is another milestone to me.
It means I can start saying “nine months” instead of the number of weeks when asked how far along I am.
It means I can say I’m due at the end of the month instead of listing out the month and day.
It means Squish could come at any time.
It means I’ve been thinking about labor and delivery.
Like, a lot a lot.
Months 7 and 8 probably brought the worst of the anxiety, but somewhere in the last couple of weeks, I decided I was just about done being pregnant and ready to just do this.
I’ve been doing lots of reading to alleviate some of my fears and P-Daddy and I also took an online lamaze course.
Isn’t everything online these days?
Truthfully, I was disappointed with the course but maybe it’s because it didn’t offer me anything my yoga practice hasn’t already given me in the last few years.
But it’s really been the desire to give birth naturally that has pushed me to start really practicing the breathing and movements seriously.
I’m flexible enough to recognize that medical intervention may be necessary (or even requested) but I still want to prepare my mind for the whole process.
I’ve also been practicing a whole lot of visualization since that’s been helpful for me in the past.
And if childbirth is a marathon, then I was going to need a mantra to help me along the way.
I pondered this for a few weeks until the right one floated right into my brain space.
Well, more like it was given to me like a gift from God.
I say small prayers throughout the day when I’m having a tough time or even when I just want to thank God for my blessings.
And for nine months I’ve been praying that God would help me through this whole pregnancy and parenting process.
It’s scary to me.
But I think Phillipians 4:13 sums it up nicely:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I actually prefer the NIV version which says:
I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
I like the NIV version better because, while I don’t believe I can do ALL things, I do believe I can do all THIS.
At least, I can with Jesus as my spiritual wing man.
While listening to my cousins regale me with their birth stories at a family gathering a while back, my Dad leaned over to me after about the 5th story and whispered,
“It only hurts until God takes over.”
And then he went back to eating his nacho cheese dip.
That moment has stuck with me.
I know HE will be there with me, but I also needed a tangible reminder.
A reminder to use my mantra.
So I ordered a bracelet that I could wear from now until D-Day reminding me that I have the strength to do this.
And thankfully, after a good pep talk from my sister, excitement is finally starting to edge out the anxiety.
The nursery is ready.
The crib is fitted with a brand new sheet.
The clothes are washed and hung in the closet.
The pack and play is nestled in our bedroom.
The book shelf is stocked.
And I even practiced putting on the new baby carrier I received, courtesy of my Grandma.
Ross Barnaby approved.
I hope Squish does too!