Honestly, I thought there would be nothing to write about these last few weeks, but things have been coming hard and fast.
So, where did we leave off?
That my child is already a little oppositional defiant and apparently not in the mood to turn head down in preparation for birth.
I spent the previous weekend mourning this fact, but was also able to move into a place of acceptance that maybe the birth I was envisioning would look a little different.
Eventually, I became strictly curious about what the doctor would say at our appointment on Monday.
Well, he dove right into our options.
1. We could try a “version” which is a procedure in which they manually manipulate the stomach and try to turn the baby head down
2. We could skip the version and schedule a C-section.
Thankfully, I had worked through all my emotions over the weekend and was ready to talk business.
P-Daddy and I both agreed it was at least worth a shot to try to spin this baby right round.
Like, a record baby, right, right, round, round.
The doctor said versions typically work about 50% of the time but it also depends on whether or not this is a first pregnancy, and how much fluid is surrounding the baby.
We scheduled the version for that Friday so that I could quickly wrap up everything at work and begin maternity leave a few days early.
I didn’t think or talk about the version leading up to the appointment.
I honestly had no desired outcome either way.
It was one of those things I just had to give back to God and trust that He would ensure that whatever was supposed to happen would happen.
We headed to the hospital early Friday morning and felt a little extra blessed that this could sort of be a “dry run” for D-Day.
We finalized the hospital route, scoped out the parking situation, and were able to easily navigate a route to the labor and delivery floor.
Preparation for the version includes preparation for possible emergency surgery, so I was asked to dress up all fancy like in a humungous pink maternity gown, and get settled on the hospital bed. A fetal monitor was immediately hooked up, my blood pressure was taken and an IV was put in place.
We played the question and answer game with the nurses for about an hour before the doctor came in.
He wrote “HI BABY” on my belly and gooped me up for the ultrasound.
He told us that he needs to check some things to make sure I am even a good candidate for a version and then looked at me seriously and said “and if you are, it hurts like the dickens.”
I was sort of under the impression that it was uncomfortable but not painful.
I’m not going to lie, I got scared.
But as the doctor started the ultrasound, I just had a gut feeling he was going to tell me that baby wasn’t going to be doing any somersaults anytime soon.
And I was right.
“Oh, honey,” he said, with his hint of an Asian accent, “there is just nooooooooo room in there. No room at all.”
He said this more humorously than factually, and I was almost a little relieved to have my suspicions confirmed.
Mama intuition must be taking hold.
He added that because this was a first pregnancy, the uterus is less pliable, if you will, and harder to manipulate.
The combination of low fluid, lack of room, and a muscular uterus meant that I wasn’t a good candidate for the version.
This news didn’t phase me at all.
Deep down, I knew that’s what I was going to be told.
I quickly dressed and headed to the nurses station for the next directions.
The doctor ordered an ultrasound for Monday (June 15th) and I already had an appointment back at the office scheduled for Tuesday.
He told us that someone would call us later in the day to schedule the C-section.
My heart did a little flip.
Am I really going to find out Squish’s Birth Day by this afternoon?
We found out about 10 minutes later.
P-Daddy and I decided to treat ourselves to some breakfast to process the latest information, when we got the call.
The C-Section would be scheduled for June 22nd, 2015.
We would have a Squish in 10 days.
It felt surreal.
It still feels surreal.
I started a mental list of all the things I wanted to get done between now and then.
And then said a little prayer that Squish wouldn’t make any surprise visits before that.
And then I thought about how beautifully things were turning out to be.
Although I was sad and angry when I learned Squish was breech, knowing this information ahead of time prevented a potentially long and dangerous labor that would have ultimately resulted in an emergency C-section anyway.
And although a C-Section is not ideal, I know in my heart of hearts this is the safest way for Squish to get here.
I also knew this had been God’s plan the entire time, even though I couldn’t see it through the sadness, anger, and confusion.
The rest of God’s plan, of course, is still a surprise.
However, we are now able to do some planning of our own.
Appointments have been scheduled, last minute to-do lists have been created, family visits are now firmly on the calendar, and my Mom’s flight out here is booked.
I may try to sneak in a few extra posts to keep everyone updated on the latest Squish happenings, but if life intervenes, just know that the news (and Squish!) will come one way or another.
Squish be like……TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?