I have so much to say.
So, so much.
I could write volumes.
But the truth is I have forgotten half of it.
Kind of like I forgot to add grounds to the coffee pot the other day and made hot water.
So here are some two month tidbits:
1. All the cliche’s are true.
Time FLIES by.
They change every single day.
The kid’s head circumference seriously doubled during a nap. I could barely get the onesie off without the use of scissors.
2. The first six weeks truly are about survival.
I thought I was trucking along fine for the first couple of weeks. She slept most of the day, I had family to hand her off to, and I was clean, showered and ready to start the day by 9 am (a feat for new parents!).
When my family left, I became kind of a lunatic. A sleep deprived lunatic. I thought I was immune to hormonal mood swings because I was just so even keel for the whole pregnancy.
I kept most of my nasty attitude to myself but poor P-Daddy was an unsuspecting victim on several occasions.
I didn’t talk to him for an entire day because he had the audacity to go to work for an entire day and get at least 4 hours of consecutive sleep in between fighting fires and saving people’s lives.
What a jerk!
I also am a creature of habit and routine.
There is NO routine with a newborn.
I was trying so hard to find some sense of control by grasping to parts of my pre-mom self.
I’m just going to bake some muffins even though I haven’t slept for 3 days!
Oh, I think I’ll squeeze in a quick round of yoga between her random, inexplicable bouts of baby shrieking.
In a way, I needed to do those things to preserve my sanity, but the truth is, trying to squeeze them into meeting the demands of a newborn was beyond stressful. Type A moms beware.
3. All babies cry
I knew this.
They made me watch a damn video in the hospital.
I’ve been around babies. I get it. They cry a lot.
So why did it stress me out sooooo much?
When my family was here, they gracefully swooped in and soothed her for as long as she needed.
They were so undisturbed by it.
When they left, I acted calm, cool and collected when the kid cried but in my head I was screaming “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT? JUST TELL MEEEEEEEEE.”
I felt incompetent and unable to soothe her.
Did I mention I was still sleep deprived?
But then we discovered something magical.
She was soothed by the sound of the vacuum cleaner.
And sure enough, they have an app for that!
So I connected my phone to a blue tooth speaker and played the vacuum sounds to lull her into a sweet, swaddled sleep.
It’s almost comical how quickly it works and it works
Looking back, I realized that in the back of my fuzzy, fuzzy brain, I somehow thought (irrationally) that if I did everything that I was supposed to do and loved her enough, she would just stop crying because she would know she was safe and taken care of.
Yeah, that’s not how babies work.
But I know that now.
Logically, I knew that before but now I know it for realz.
3. Bonding is a process.
I thought the bond would be automatic since, you know, we were physically attached for 10 months and I literally grew her whole being, but the real emotional bond took a while to kick in.
Like I said, the first six weeks were about survival mode for me and it left little energy for much else.
My brain had enough room to make sure she was fed, dry, clothed, safe and snuggled.
But instead of dreamily looking into her eyes, I was pleading with to just please, please go to sleep.
I kept thinking “This isn’t very fun. Why do people DO this?”
But then she would calm down and I would be like “awww she is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I just love her so much!”
That was the six week mood swing kicking in again.
But once we were able to sleep longer stretches, survival mode melted away and my maternal instincts started sinking in.
Her cries no longer left me frozen with fear that I wouldn’t know what’s wrong or I won’t be able to soothe her.
Now, I can’t stop staring into her baby blues.
I absolutely can not handle the insane cuteness of her tiny, dimpled hands.
I hope you don’t read this as I was an unattached, uncaring, or unloving new mom.
But the stress and demands of a newborn required a huge adjustment period.
And now I am really starting to experience the true joys of being a Mom.
Did I mention I was sleep deprived?
4. The kid never misses a meal
Breastfeeding is far and away one of the most challenging things I have ever done and yet I am bound and determined to keep doing it.
Sadie keeps me on my toes by making sure she never misses a meal.
That girl can eat!
Thank goodness things like lactation consultants and breastfeeding support groups exist.
My name is Sadie and I am a breastfeeding addict.
5. I am baby obsessed
I always said that I would never be that mom that becomes obsessed with her baby.
No, I was going to make sure I would make time (ha!) to enjoy all of my other interests like cooking, blogging about food, bike riding, reading, and yoga.
But, I mean, how can you not become baby obsessed?
They are freakin’ adorable!
And since she’s my kid, every damn thing she does is the cutest damn thing I have ever seen in my whole damn life.
So now I spend my (limited) free time soaking up as much information as I can about baby development, breastfeeding (I NEVER saw that one coming), and parenting in general.
It’s really fascinating stuff.
And I can’t wait to stimulate the baby’s brain in developmentally appropriate ways at developmentally appropriate times like the neurotic type A that I am.
But seriously, I am just waiting for the day that she can pick up a spatula and we can make it rain whole wheat flour in the kitchen together.
In case you’re a geek like me, here are some cool timelines about babies:
Sadie’s Two-Month Tidbits:
She is starting to social smile.
Her dad has to squish her cheeks to get her to fall asleep.
She has super girly shrieks that usually mean she is about to fart like a grown man.
She grunts in her sleep.
She has outgrown her newborn outfits.
She loves to go on walks in her stroller with Mom, Dad, and her new furry friends.
She hates schedules.
She looks like Jack Nicholson in the shining when she wakes up from a nap.
She loves listening to loud rock music on short car rides.
Rock on, baby, rock on.