Rhythm and Blues

This post is only a month late. I’d say we’re doing pretty good! 

We’ve been dancing the infant dance for three months now, and I think we finally have a rhythm.

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Babies laugh in the face of schedules (to my horror) but sometimes they don’t mind slipping into an improvised slow dance.

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It all usually hits the pot around 5:00 PM.

It does not escape me that “Happy Hour” and the “Witching Hour” occur at the same time.

Bartender, please pour a glass for me.

But we are light years ahead of where we were just a short month ago.

I didn’t think I was going to make it.

The sleep deprivation was chipping away at my soul.

Thankfully, some better and more predictable sleep habits (please, please don’t let me regret saying that) have somewhat restored me.

That and going to bed at 7:30 PM.

My 20 year old self would laugh at the ridiculousness of such an early bedtime, but the truth is that I know that I need adequate sleep to function as a somewhat reasonable human being.

Nursing 2-3 times a night or waking up with a cranky baby mean that bedtime comes extra early and not one ounce of me feels bad about that.

Its my goal to hit the hay as soon as the toddler sings her last show tune before bed.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

That’s pretty much the gist of life, eh?

Sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t?

Look at me getting all philosophical because my brain is working today.

I’m getting a little emotional though too.

In a few short weeks, my maternity leave will come to an end and I will have to go back to work.

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I like my job so part of me is excited to see my colleagues and dive back into the world of counseling but the other part of me is going to miss being able to stay home, take care of the kids, and do inane things like look up natural household cleaner recipes (now I can clean with the vodka that I bought for happy hour! Winning!).

When Sadie went to daycare for the first time, I was totally able to compartmentalize it and think of all the positive aspects of having full time care during the day.

I’m having a harder time doing that this time around.

I feel like I am somehow abandoning my duties as a mother .

I will probably never, ever have multiple months at home taking care of my kids again.

UNLESS a school district would like to hire a highly motivated mental health counselor?!?! Pretty please?!?!?!?

Even though I sometimes feel sad (and the toddler feels all the big feels ALL THE TIME), I can’t help but feel grateful for so many things.

1. Free Grocery Pick Up: This service literally saves my life every single week. So grateful.

2. When Sadie sees me and P-Daddy hugging and just has to jump in. The smile on her face is priceless.

3. When Sadie has a tantrum and in the middle of the scream fest, we ask her if she needs a hug and she runs to give us one.  Project “Time-IN” has been pretty successful!

4. We are finally able to understand and sometimes predict what Reese needs. “Oh, it’s 5:00 PM and you need to be swaddled and Mom needs a martini? Let’s do this.”

5. I had a full conversation with P-Daddy, no interruptions. I think I also fell asleep in the middle (two birds, if you ask me).

6. Reese is SO smiley! I can almost always count on big, big smiles in the morning. After 5:00, we just aim for no shrieking.

REESE -THREE MONTHS:

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Likes white noise and being swaddled for sleep (finally)

Takes longish morning naps (finally)

Loves when big sister plays with her

Is growing increasingly impatient with the carseat

Grasps for toys (and her toes!)

Is fascinated with her left hand

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Is growing so fast (I swear she’s about to catch up with big sister!)

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