I asked my Mom friends to give me their best motherly advice.
This is what they said:
Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you use to speak to your own child (or at least with same lovingness as when you are watching them sleep!).
Just as much as you are patient with your children, be patient with yourself. There is no handbook in regards to parenthood and at the end of the day your are human. Love yourself! Your children learn more by example
Forgive yourself – there will be bad days, days you feel you could have done more or been better and on those days you lay guilt on yourself – you have to forgive and move forward or the mom guilt can eat you alive.
Enjoy every single second! It flies by so fast and you can’t get it back. I remember wishing “she would just get potty trained, and cup trained and to talk so I could understand her” and realize by doing that I rushed through so much. Try to slow down and enjoy things. But also know, 1 day you may be blessed with grandchildren and OMG that’s just amazing in a whole new way!!
Remember that you’re not alone! Ask for help if you need it! Don’t sweat the small stuff!!! Be kind to yourself! Don’t get carried away in the Momma guilt. Also don’t forget to take time away with just your hubby! Don’t lose sight of the two people that created these beautiful lives. Cherish each other and your marriage!
Every phase has it’s hard times. Just remember they will grow out of it. And when your teenage daughter back talks you, just remember it’s because you raised her to be independent and not to take anyone’s crap.
Small children-small problems
Big children-big problems
Enjoy all the small problems as much as possible
None of us know what we’re doing all the time, but we figure it out as we go along! Call your mom, sister, friend…whoever you need to when you need to. Try not to compare yourself to other moms who seem to have their sh*t together. Stay off the internet/Google because you’ll drive yourself crazy. Be easy on yourself…a loving, safe home is what’s most important. And have fun!! Become a kid all over again!
Don’t feel bad when you need to say “ just a minute “ to your kids ! They will survive!
Enjoy the little moments. They all end sooner than you realize. And looking back over the last 15+ years, I still can’t believe how fast its gone and how grown up they already are becoming. Very bittersweet.
You MUST make time for you as a human. Not as a mom, or a wife, or any other title. Do something for you, to help you be the best version of you. So that you are able to be your best self as a wife, and as a momma. Your kids are watching and soaking in everything you do, how you act, how you treat others, how you act with your husband in your marriage, affection,etc. They’re learning what’s acceptable in relationships from what they see at home. Remember that.
As they get older, pick your battles. They will challenge you, they will strive for independence. You’ve given them the tools and examples to make GOOD decisions, let them life, and make their own path…. And if things go sour, they know their mama will always be there to pick them up & love them unconditionally.
Have a small circle of women in your life that are involved with you and the kids regularly. Call them for help, for advice, call them to vent on a rough Monday morning when everyone woke up late, the kida won’t stop crying, spilled their breakfast,the dog pooped in the house and you’re at your wits end. Strong parents raise strong children. We are a team and don’t ever forget you are never alone in this awesome journey.
If we weave all of these sentiments together, the common threads seem to be:
Be kind to yourself
Be mindful of the joyful moments
Build a life of loving relationships
Love yourself, your kids, your spouse, your family, and your village unconditionally.
Here’s my advice:
You are enough.
You are good enough, strong enough, mom enough.
You are everything.
And everything inside of you and around is as it should be.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mama Warriors out there!